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The Emotional Bank

Do you ever wonder why some people seem to have great relationships with

everyone, while others can’t seem to maintain a meaningful relationship with


Every person has an internal emotional bank where as soon as they meet someone

for the first time, a new emotional account automatically opens. Throughout life, we

open thousands of emotional accounts for all the different individuals we interact

with. This includes family members, friends, classmates, teammates, teachers,

bosses, colleagues, and acquaintances.

Every interaction constitutes either a deposit of positive emotions into the account or a withdrawal of positive emotions from the account. All these debit/credit transactions are done subconsciously without the individual even realizing it taking place.

Consider the following example:

If an individual gives you a compliment or takes you out for lunch or helps you with

something, they deposit positive emotions into their emotional account with you.

On the other hand, if they make fun of you, or lie to you, or stand you up, they

Withdraw positive emotions from their account with you.

As long as they deposit more then they withdraw, the account maintains a positive balance and the relationship will continue to grow. Inversely, if they withdraw more then they deposit, sooner or later the account will be overdrawn, and the relationship will end.

Simply put, always render more service and better service than that for which you are paid and do more for others than they do for you. Be positive, courteous, empathetic and kind and you will be successful, loved, and attract similar people who will appreciate you and reciprocate the same towards you.

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