Self Proudness

By studying ancient civilizations, scientists were able to conclude that all human beings ultimately had (and continue to have) the same primary life goals; to be happy and fulfilled. 

While modern science was able to empirically define how and what can make us feel happy, when it came to fulfillment the jury is still out.

The reality is that for most people, the sheer idea of being fulfilled or achieving fulfillment seems like a myth - an impossible goal to achieve. 

I beg to differ. I believe that it is certainly possible, and in fact I’m going to share with you the methodology of attaining it. But first, let’s understand the difference between happiness and fulfillment.

Happiness is a temporary emotional state which is triggered by a certain stimulus.

(Click here to see the Mind's happy chemicals blog post)

And because happiness is a transient state which comes and goes, when it arrives it feels wonderful and when it’s gone it leaves a void. I would therefore argue that an individual should strive to experience a longer lasting state of positive feelings and emotions (which happiness is certainly apart of).

But in order to do that, happiness should be viewed as a “by-product of… and not be pursued as an ultimate goal. Just like money should be viewed as a by-product of success and not be pursued directly for the sake of itself as an end goal, since success offers so much more than just money.

You’re probably wondering; ok…So what is happiness the by-product of?

The short answer is: fulfillment.

And fulfillment is attained through self-proudness (self-pride without the ego). 

Don’t bother searching the term, It won’t come up. I had to make it up since no word exists in the english dictionary to properly describe; a state of pride in one-self without egoic connotations.

I also believe that self-proudness lays in the intersection between: Core Values, Life Meaning, and Higher Purpose. 

Namely, by living our life within our pre-defined Core Values (our fundamental beliefs and highest priorities that drive our behavior) while making small progress every day towards our Life’s Meaning (the things that matter most to us/our dreams/and goals), while also dedicating a portion of our time/resources/skills/talents to a Higher Purpose (a greater good without receiving anything in return), results in self-proudness which activates a state of fulfillment within us.

Take a look at the following Venn diagram (it's a detailed view of the 3rd tier within the IOYL thrive model - the triangle):

(Click here to see the IOYL Thrive model)

I’d like to double down on my theory and suggest the following exercise to prove it;

ask yourself a simple question: Are you proud of yourself?

If the answer is “No”, you are not fulfilled. If you would like to convert the “No” to a “Yes”, start working on your Coat of Arms (your Core Values and Life’s Meaning).

(click here to see Your Coat of Arms blog post with detailed instructions to create your own)

Once you create your Coat of Arms, create a daily/weekly/monthly to do list with clearly defined small attainable goals towards your Life’s Meaning.

(Click here to see Kaizen blog post)

After you've checked off some of your daily to do’s (which should’ve included small steps towards your Life’s meaning) ask yourself again the same question: Are you proud of yourself? 

I’m pretty sure that this time around the answer will be “Yes”.

Pay attention to the combination of feelings and emotions that start filling you up as soon as you realize it; happiness, peacefulness, well-being, love of life, excitement, and others… all flowing through you simultaneously. This is what being fulfilled feels like.

If you would like to maintain this state of being and continue to be immersed in it for the rest of your life, you have one goal from now on (every other goal is secondary): To always be proud of yourself!

At some point, when you feel that your life is on track towards attaining your Life’s Meaning while living in accordance with your Core Values, you’ll need to start thinking long and hard about your Higher Purpose which is ultimately your legacy.

Because sooner or later, there will come a day where “just” working towards your Life’s Meaning will no longer make you as fulfilled as it used to (take it from me). That’s why self proudness lays at the junction-point of 3 elements and not 2.

In summary, the best part about this methodology is that it’s straight forward and all within your control and will power. Simply put, your daily actions will determine if you will be proud of yourself and therefore fulfilled or not. Even if one day you become lazy or complacent and don’t feel proud of yourself (we all have these days) you now know what you need to do the next day to get back on track.

Tips and recommended exercises:

Tip 1: Never compromise your Core Values while working towards attaining your Life’s Meaning and Higher Purpose.

Tip 2: Keep doing exercise #1 every day from now on.

Exercise #1: Every evening before you go to sleep write down either in a paper journal or a digital app 3 things you are proud of yourself for.

Exercise #2: Keep a detailed log of how you feel from the 1st day of doing exercise #1 over a period of 30 days, and then review and see the transformation that took place in you.

If you like this idea, join our mailing list to receive free, weekly, bite-sized, personal growth ideas. We would also love to get your feedback. And if you want to do something really amazing, please click the thumps up icon, share it with others and let’s get more people to thrive.